I have had so many people ask me what they can do for someone who has lost a child. It's a helpless feeling, knowing there’s no replacement for what’s been lost. But small, simple gestures truly mean so much. I've thought a lot about this topic, because we're all so different and it's impossible to … Continue reading SIMPLE GESTURES
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Sometimes
Sometimes when I’m just having a normal day, the thought comes up to look at Cooper’s pictures. Usually, I’ll try to suppress that thought and ignore it, but guilt kicks in and most of the time the urge to see her wins. I can look at her pictures and smile, but sometimes when I see … Continue reading Sometimes
Talking to Cooper
I walked out to my car to grab something and noticed my new neighbor was outside checking his mail. We strike up our first conversation and introduce ourselves. He says, “It’s just us two in the house.” And I replied with, “Same here, just my husband and me and 3 dogs. We had a daughter, … Continue reading Talking to Cooper
Our Nurses
To Rachel: We had met before, she was our nurse the first time we came to L&D triage for decreased movement back in December. Cooper was fine, I was just paranoid back then, but Rachel made me feel so relaxed. She’s the nurse who desperately looked for Cooper’s heartbeat when we came into triage for … Continue reading Our Nurses
Rollercoaster
“Ok wow, I’ve had a few very great, very “normal” feeling days. What the fuck is happening? Am I healing? Am I losing it? I’m supposed to be miserable all day every day. I’m supposed to not want to be around people, not want to see children or hear babies crying. I mean that’s how … Continue reading Rollercoaster
Longing for Cooper 